It is felt every day. In the moments of breaking where my mind is far astray, there is grace being given. I don’t look for it as often I once did. I read Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts which taught me about the Greek word of eucharisteo. It means to give thanks but it also has root words that mean grace and joy. To see God’s grace each day and to give thanks for it and from that comes joy, God’s joy. To find eucharisteo is something as simple as seeing the sun rays shining in on a crisp morning to something as hard as losing a loved one – to see grace, God’s grace, in it all. Life his hard and hard eucharisteo is not something that is desired and it is not easy to face.
The kingdom of heaven is breaking in, heaven is coming for you. Am I living a life worth living?
My anthem and prayer has been a line from a song called Joy by King and Country –
“Gotta get that fire fire back in my bones before my heart heart turns into stone…… choose joy”
I know I feel God’s grace but in these hard days I haven’t looked or I just ignore what I see. I don’t want my heart to become stone and I feel this ebb and flow between hard and soft. It is a war between the flesh and the spirit, a war against God and Satan.. I feel so broken, so dissatisfied with the life that I am living. Expectations create disappointment and I go back to that disappointment too often. It is like quicksand and I am stuck. Circumstances may not change but our perception and perspective can. I need something that can rewire my brain and my heart towards eucharisteo.
Writing this is a reminder to choose to look for eucharisteo.
I hope to do this next month and hopefully for this next year. I need to purpose to see God’s grace.